


What Say You, Hugo?

by my_mad_fatuation



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Acting, F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-07 19:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13441461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Rae and Finn are cast opposite each other in a play for Drama class at university, but Rae starts to worry when she realizes she’ll have to kiss Finn as part of the play.





	What Say You, Hugo?

“Oh, Chloe, uni is fantastic,” Rae said, cradling the phone against her ear.

“Oh yeah?” Chloe asked on the other end of the line. “Who is he, then?”

“Who’s what?”

“Who’s the guy that’s gotten you so swoony about school?”

“Is it that obvious?” Rae replied sheepishly.

“You only talk like this when there’s a boy involved, even if he usually is a fictional character.”

“There’s a real boy this time, Chlo,” she said. “His name’s Archie, and he’s in my Drama class, and he’s absolutely perfect.”

“How can you tell if he’s perfect?” said Chloe. “You’ve only been there for a week.”

“I just know. We ended up getting put together for one of the exercises in class, and he was so much fun to talk to. I’ve never got on with a bloke so well.”

“Well, then, I’m happy for ya, Rae.”

“I know what you’re thinking; that I have a different crush every week and I’ll have moved on by the midterm,” Rae said. “But it’s different this time. I can feel it.”

***

Although they’d done several acting exercises in Rae’s Drama class where the instructor would team people up, for their first major assignment, the students were allowed to form their own groups of four or five.

 _Excellent_ , Rae thought as she immediately turned her attention to Archie. The two of them had gotten into a habit of chatting after class on the way to their next lectures—even though Rae’s next classroom was nowhere near Archie’s and she’d have to double back. So she was certain he would want to team up with her. But he never even looked her way.

Two people approached him to be in their group before she could even start to head towards him, and by the time she was close, two other people had joined them. She stood on the sidelines for a moment, deflated.

“Hey,” someone said from a couple yards away.

She turned to see a group of four boys standing there.

“You need a group?” said one of them.

Rae looked around the room. Everyone else was already teamed up and she was the only one left solo. “Yeah, I s’pose,” she replied before walking over to them.

“This is Martin, Stuart, Pete, and I’m Finn,” said the boy who called her over, introducing each of the others to her.

She knew some of their names already, but she was appreciative of the refresher. “I’m Rae,” she said.

“Welcome aboard, Rae.”

***

After giving the instructor the list of their group members, Rae and the boys were each handed a copy of a script written by a fourth-year Dramaturgy & Playwriting student. It was a short play that the five of them were expected to rehearse and perform to the rest of the class in one week’s time.

None of that was a problem for Rae; the whole reason she took Drama was because she loved acting. But upon getting home and reading the script for herself, she suddenly felt very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

The issue was that there was only one female role in the play—sorry, Bechdel—and Rae being the only female in the group, it was likely that she would have to play that role. Again, not so terrible at first glance, until she read the part where she would have to kiss a boy.

She could hardly believe it; who would write that into a play? It just seemed like such an intimate thing to include in a play for first-year Drama students who had never met each other before now. And to have to kiss someone in front of the rest of her class, it just seemed highly inappropriate.

Of course, some of her trepidation came from the fact that she, as a matter of fact, had never kissed anyone before. She never dated anyone at college, and she’d always opt out of kissing games at parties.

It wasn’t that she had a problem with the idea of kissing someone, per se. It was the fact that her first kiss—a romantic milestone—was not going to be real. It wouldn’t be with someone who actually _wanted_ to kiss her. It would merely be for a play. Acting.

She, however, was an adult and a thespian, so she could handle it. Probably. Maybe.

***

At the next Drama class, everyone gathered into their respective groups to work on the plays they had been given. In Rae’s group, Martin had designated himself as director, seeing as there were only four roles in their play, and began assigning roles to the other group members.

“Rae, you’ll play Camille,” he said, reading off his copy of the script.

Although this didn’t surprise her, Rae still refuted it. “I don’t see why I should have to play Camille, just because I’m the only girl.”

“It just makes sense,” he replied. “There’s one girl and three guys in the play, and we have one girl and three guys to play the parts. It lines up well.”

“But Camille is supposed to be dainty and feminine, and I’m, well…” She gestured to the oversized band t-shirt she was wearing.

“I thought those characteristics of Camille were unnecessary to the story, and really clichéd,” said Finn.

“Who’s playing Hugo, then?” Rae asked the director. She figured if Stuart were playing Hugo, it would at least make sense why his character would want to kiss someone who looked like her.

Martin glanced down at the notes he’d made in his script. “I thought Finn could play that part,” he said.

She looked over at Finn warily. She was going to have to kiss _him_? In front of _everyone_? There was no way that anyone would believe Hugo would kiss Camille if Hugo looked like Finn and Camille looked like, well, Rae. The Finns of the world didn’t usually go around kissing the Raes.

***

The first rehearsal for their play wasn’t so bad, Rae thought. They just sat around with their chairs in a circle and read over the lines from the script. Rae didn’t have to move around or—even better—kiss anyone.

“I want you guys to have your lines memorized by next time,” Martin said at the end of class. “Finn, that includes you.”

“Why’d you single me out?” Finn asked.

“You’ve got the most lines. You and Rae, anyway, but she seems to have a better grasp of the material,” said Martin.

Finn glanced over at Rae, and she shrunk down in her seat.

“Okay, so I’ll see you all Friday,” Martin added. “And remember, _no scripts_.”

As they packed up their bags to leave—Rae was packing up quickly so she could try to catch Archie on his way to his next class—Finn tapped Rae on the shoulder.

“Yeah?” she said when she looked over at him, keeping an eye on Archie with her peripheral vision.

“I thought maybe we should run lines together before Friday,” said Finn. “We’ve got the most scenes together, so it… Rae? Are you listening?”

She was too busy watching Archie leave to pay attention to what Finn was saying. “Hmm?”

“Me, you, running lines together. You in?”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, though inside she was cursing that she’d just missed her chance to catch up to Archie.

“I’ll meet you here tomorrow night at seven, then?” Finn added.

“Yeah, whatever.”

***

When Rae got to the Drama room the next night at seven o’clock, she was surprised to find that there was a class in session going on inside. She’d forgotten that evening classes were a thing. Where were she and Finn supposed to run their lines now?

Finn came up to her shortly after seven, looking confused. “What are you standing out here for?”

“There’s a class in there right now,” she replied, nodding towards the door of the classroom.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, so I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow—”

“Hold on a minute,” Finn said, taking a step in front of Rae to keep her from walking away. “We can still run our lines somewhere else.”

“Where is there that’s quiet enough for us to practice our lines without disturbing people?” she asked. “We can’t go to the library, ‘cos—”

“What about my room?” he suggested.

“What?”

“My roommate’s out for a while, so we could rehearse without bothering anyone. And it’s quiet, except for the guys in the next room who are trying to start a punk band.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want to encroach on your personal space or anything.”

He laughed a little. “It’s fine. Come on.”

***

Rae felt a little strange following Finn to his building, and then up to his room. She wondered what people in the corridors must have been thinking when they saw the two of them walking together, going into his room together. Probably that Finn was out of his mind.

Or that he had to work on a class assignment, which was exactly the case.

“Sorry for the mess,” he said as they walked in. He kicked a pile of dirty laundry under one of the beds.

“S’okay,” she replied as she made her way cautiously into the room.

He went and sat on the edge of the bed under which he’d just shoved the clothes, so Rae presumed it was his side of the room. Instead of sitting next to him, though, she pulled up the chair from his desk.

He grabbed his script out of his bag. “I suppose we should start with scene two, since that’s where Camille comes in.”

She agreed and they went over their lines in scenes two and three, just reciting them back and forth. Occasionally one of them would throw in another character’s line, doing their best impression of either Stuart or Pete, depending whose line it was. It made them laugh.

They skipped scene four, since Hugo wasn’t in that scene, and went straight onto five. Rae could feel her palms start to sweat when she thought about what scene five meant. It was The Scene.

It was going fine, though. Sitting so far apart like this, it wasn’t as though she would have to kiss him yet. Maybe, she thought, there was some way they could perform the whole play in this fashion, sitting in separate seats, and just blow each other kisses from a distance. A reinterpretation of the scene.

Rae was startled, then, when Finn rose from his seat during one of his lines, to add emphasis. She remained seated as she recited her dialogue to him, but when it was his turn to speak again, he reached for her hand to pull her out of her chair.

He appeared to be trying to maintain eye contact with her during his speech, but he kept having to look at the script in his one hand as he gestured with the other. (It was a bit over the top, she thought, but maybe this was just his process of learning the lines.)

She also continued to look down at her script, not because she couldn’t remember her lines, but because she couldn’t bear to make eye contact. She was afraid that if she looked up for too long, he would be able to tell how nervous she was about what was coming up soon.

“What say you, Hugo?” she said to him—this dialogue was terrible, she thought.

He took a couple steps closer to her. “I say nothing, Camille,” he replied. “Nothing but this.”

She flinched when he started to move his face towards hers. She felt like the sweat on her palms must have been soaking through the script she was clenching in her fists.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Nothing. What? Nothing,” she replied nervously.

“I know, the script is pretty shit, but let’s just be professional about this, yeah?”

“It’s not that, it’s just…”

“Just, what?”

“I’ve never… done this,” she said.

He looked down at his script and then back at her. “I thought you’d acted in plays before,” he said, obviously confused.

“Not _this_ ,” she said, waving her own script in the air. “ _This_.” She pointed back and forth between their faces.

“Oh… Oh!” A look of understanding seemed to cross his face. “Okay, well, that’s, er—”

“Oh, god, this is embarrassing,” she added as she hid her face behind her script.

“No, hey, come on,” he said, and then grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the bed. “Sit down and relax for a second.”

She sat hesitantly and folded her hands in her lap, still clutching her script tightly.

“Look,” he continued as he sat down in the chair across from her, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “I think you’re overthinking this and making it into a bigger deal than it is. I don’t care if you’ve never done this before; I don’t care if you’re shit at it. We’re _acting_.”

She nodded but she couldn’t bring herself to look at him.

“You’re nervous because us kissing in the scene is going to be your first kiss ever, right?” he said. “So why don’t I just kiss you now when we’re not in the scene, so that when we get to the scene you’ll be less nervous?”

She glanced up at him, giving him a look like she thought he was mad.

“It’s not going to kill you,” he added. “Come here. “ He motioned with his finger for her to lean closer to him, and she did so apprehensively.

She could feel when his face got close and tensed up even more.

“Jeez, relax,” he said with a laugh, and she could feel his breath on her face. “I’m not going to do anything weird.”

But this whole thing was weird, to Rae. The very act of kissing itself was foreign and weird. Her lips were pulled into a tight line by the time his reached them.

“Okay, you’re going to have to do better than that,” he said without lifting his face away from hers.

He tried again and she let her lips soften into his a little, and created this sort of suction-like feeling between their mouths, which she supposed was _kissing_. She did it. She had her first kiss.

“Better,” he said as he sat back in his seat. “We’ll work on it.”

***

They ran through the scene several more times, and by the fourth time, Rae didn’t flinch when Finn came close to kiss her.

“You’re improving,” he said afterwards. “But there’s still something missing. We’re a bit too… mechanical, don’t you think?”

“What d’you mean?”

“I mean, I think we need to loosen up a bit. The kiss needs to feel spontaneous and momentous, right? Not perfunctory.”

“Okay…” Rae said, though she wasn’t sure she knew how to do that. She still felt tense every time he came near her.

He took the script from her hand and tossed it on the floor, along with his own. Then he took her hands in his and started shaking their arms around until it made her laugh.

“Do you feel looser?” he asked.

“I s’pose.”

“All right, so… What if, instead of us just saying our lines and then pushing our faces together, I move closer as you’re speaking,”—he moved closer to her—“and then I do this while I say my line,”—he tucked her hair behind her ear and placed his hand on the side of her face—“and then I just…”

He let his words trail off as he brought his lips to hers again. But it was different this time. It was slow and deliberate and felt… momentous. And, being the great actor that he was, he almost made her believe that he meant it. She put her hand around the back of his neck, momentarily forgetting that this wasn’t real. She involuntarily made a contented humming sound, which she hoped he hadn’t noticed.

The kiss continued longer than their previous attempts, too. It only came to an end when they sprang apart, startled by a loud, out-of-tune chord that came crunching through an amp on the other side of the wall.

“Sorry,” Finn said, barely audible above the cacophony next door. “That was better, though, right?”

She nodded awkwardly.

“You were really going for it,” he added with a smirk.

Oh dear, he’d noticed that she had gotten a little too into it; she was mortified.

The look on amusement on his face faded as he took a step closer to her again. “Look, I was just thinking—”

He stopped talking when the door flew open and Archie walked in.

“Hiya, Finn,” he said, then paused when he noticed there was someone else in the room. “Rae! What are you doing here?”

“We’re rehearsing that play,” said Finn.

“Oh, well, don’t let me interrupt,” Archie said as he crossed the room to set his bag down. “I’ll be out of here in a second. A bunch of folks are hanging out in the basement tonight. You should come when you’re done here, Finn.” He looked at Rae again, smiled, and added, “Later, Rae.”

“You know, I should probably get going,” she said to Finn as Archie walked out. “You can go join your friends downstairs.”

“I don’t mind working on this for a bit longer,” said Finn.

“Yeah, but I actually, er, I have plans, so I should probably just…” She pointed her thumb in the direction of the door behind her.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah.”

***

Rae did not see Finn in class the next day, as she decided not to go. She knew that they would have to do a rehearsal with blocking and action, and she knew that would include the kiss, and she wasn’t ready to do that in front of people yet.

What if she froze up when he came near her? What if she got too into it and forgot she was acting? What if she made that humming sound again? She wouldn’t want Archie seeing her from across the room and thinking that she was bad at acting if she froze up or, worse, that she fancied Finn if she didn’t.

No, there were just too many variables—namely her involuntary bodily reactions to being kissed—for her to go to the rehearsal.

***

“Hi, Rae? It’s Finn.”

“Oh, er, hi,” Rae said into the phone. “How did you get the number for my room?”

“You gave it to Martin on the first day of the assignment, remember?” said Finn. “He was going to call you, but I said I would do it on his behalf.”

“Is… Is this about today?” she asked anxiously.

“Yeah,” he said. “Where were you? I was worried.”

“Oh, well, I wasn’t feeling great. I had a, er, female issue,” she lied, hoping that would end the conversation.

“Sorry to hear that. I hope you’re feeling better tomorrow—we’re doing a make up rehearsal at two.”

“Actually, I’ve got an appointment then,” she said. “Yeah, getting a haircut, so…”

“Can’t you reschedule?” he asked.

“I’m not sure if—”

“We need you, Rae. You’re the glue that holds this play together.”

She twisted the phone cord around her finger as she considered this. “You sure that’s not the shitty script?”

“That’s just the icing on the cake,” he said with a laugh.

“A cake held together with glue?”

“I’m terrible at baking.”

She laughed as well.

“We missed you today, Rae,” he continued. “ _I_ missed you.”

“You did?” she asked, hopefulness tinting her voice.

“Yeah,” he said. “It was really awkward having to stand there and pretend to kiss nothing.”

“I see…”

“Plus, it’s just more fun having you around.”

She was glad that he couldn’t see her smiling.

“Look, get some rest and feel better, and I’ll see you tomorrow, all right?” he added.

“All right,” she said. “I’ll do my best.”

And she meant it. She felt guilty about letting him and the group down—mostly him—so she was going to that rehearsal, even if it killed her. (Assuming it was actually possible to _die_ of embarrassment.)

***

“What say you, Hugo?”

“I say nothing, Camille. Nothing but this.”

“All right, cut!” said Martin. “This isn’t working.”

“What’s not working?” Finn asked as he took a step back from Rae.

“I’m just not buying it. The lines are too stiff, too robotic.”

“The lines are what they are,” said Rae.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you simply recite them,” Martin replied. “You need to _act_ , folks.”

“Then you need to _direct_ us,” said Finn.

“Here’s a direction for you: do it better!”

“Okay, thanks.” Finn looked back at Rae and rolled his eyes, and she had to stop herself from laughing.

They ran through the lines again, intentionally overacting just to piss off Martin, and he made them stop and start once more.

This time, Rae tried her best to get in the mind of her (two-dimensional) character. Camille had strong feelings for Hugo, and as Rae looked at Finn, she could finally see why.

“What say you, Hugo?”

“I say nothing, Camille.”

She could feel her face get warmer as Finn approached her and placed his hand on her cheek. Had he always been this… sexy? Sure, she knew he was a good-looking lad, but now, as he was about to kiss her yet again, he seemed so much more than that.

“Nothing but this,” he continued, leaning in.

When he kissed her this time, she thought about their last kiss in his room, the one that had been interrupted. The one where she almost forgot it wasn’t real. She also thought about talking to him on the phone, how he’d made her smile and laugh and feel like things were going to be okay. He made her feel… good.

“All right, all right,” said Martin. “Break it up, you two. We’ve got another scene to get through.”

***

“Oh, Chloe, you’ll never believe it!” Rae said over the phone that evening.

“Ooh, let me guess,” said Chloe. “There’s a new boy that you fancy.”

“How did you—”

“You’re very predictable, Rae,” she said. “And next week it will be someone new, I know.”

“It’s different this time,” Rae replied. “I kissed him.”

“You kissed him?”

“A bunch of times, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah—Well, I mean, it was for a play, but still…”

“Oh. Babes, you know that doesn’t count, right?”

Rae’s hopes deflated. “Yeah, I know, but—”

“Don’t worry about it, though,” Chloe added. “Like I said, you’ll be moved on to someone new in a week.”

“Yeah…”

But Rae didn’t want to move on to someone new. She wanted her kisses with Finn to count for something. She wanted them to be real.

***

“What say you, Hugo?” Rae said during her group’s performance in front of the rest of the class.

“I say nothing, Camille,” Finn replied. “Nothing but this.”

This time, when he kissed her, she thought about what an idiot she was for developing feelings for her co-star. How she had been sucked in through the play, even with the stilted dialogue and terrible characterization. How she wished that, just once, her crush would want her, too.

And something inside her broke.

She pushed Finn away and left the room as quickly as she could, before anyone could see her cry. She struggled to take deep, cleansing breaths as she verged on hyperventilating.

 _Put your hands on something flat_ , she thought to herself as she pressed her palms against the corridor window, looking out over a grassy area with benches.

The door to the classroom opened behind her and she could hear half-hearted applause coming from inside.

“Rae?”

She turned to see Finn heading towards her, a look of concern across his face.

“You all right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just, er, I don’t feel very well,” she said. “Why are they all clapping?”

“They thought that was the end of the play, that you were just making a dramatic exit. That Camille isn’t going to take any more of Hugo’s bullshit,” he said. “Which makes a better ending, I think.”

She laughed a little, though it sort of came out sounding like a sob.

“You should probably go back to your dorm and get some rest, if you’re not feeling well,” he said. “Do you want me to walk with you?”

“Oh, no, that’s okay, you don’t need to—”

“I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

He laughed a little this time. “Yes, I’m sure. I’m just gonna go grab your bag from inside and I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay…”

He jogged back towards the classroom and went inside, returning shortly with both their bags. “So, I’ve been wanting to ask you something, but it seemed like it should wait until after the play was done,” he said as he handed over her bag and they started walking.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s just, er, when you’re feeling better, of course, would you… want to do something with me?”

“Do something?” she asked.

“Yeah, like, go get some food or see a movie or something lame like that.”

“Wait, are you—Are you asking me out?”

“Heh, yeah,” he said. “I mean, if you just want to be friends, that’s cool, but obviously I like you.”

“Obviously…?” She didn’t quite understand what was happening here.

“Well, yeah. You know I only got the part of Hugo because I begged Martin to cast me in it, right?” he added. “I’m not exactly the most talented actor in the group, now, am I?”

“I don’t know, I thought maybe—”

“I wanted the part so I could spend some time with you, get to know you better, and, yeah, kiss you. Which sounds a little skeevy when I say it out loud, but—”

“It probably is a little skeevy, but I don’t care, because I like you, too,” she said, smiling down at the ground before looking back at him. “And so, I ask, what say you, Hugo?”

He smiled. “I say nothing, Camille.”


End file.
